


Just know that I’m already home

by legragodeo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up/Make Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 20:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2553887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legragodeo/pseuds/legragodeo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I wish you and papa could color books with me everyday. It would be so much fun. Besides, papa always has great talent in choosing colors, unlike Mrs. O’Connor, but papa is barely home. I don’t like Mrs. O’Connor. She snores a lot while falling asleep on the couch. And that one time Uncle Nick came to help coloring, he messed up my crayons. I hate him. He’s terrible. Why does papa like to hang out with him?” she didn’t stop rambling. And Louis got no idea how to answer her question. He simply chuckled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just know that I’m already home

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a piece of shit feels that burst out at 11 pm in which I choose to write i/o resting for work tomorrow morning. Find me on tumblr with the same name :).

Louis quickened his pace as the clouds were moving towards him. The sprinkle of water almost covered his body by the time he reached the front door of a small house with a greeny meadow. The image was so vivid. He couldn’t deny that he got a sudden bliss coming to the place again—the place that he used to call home. How strange, Louis thought, how each part of the place stayed the same as far as he remembered. Striking his knuckles to the door, he waited as if seeking for an admittance to enter the house. Turning his body once in a while, Louis attempted to cease his nerve. His chest began to heave with heavy panting. He was shaking—his whole body parts started to make a quiver motion. Suddenly the door cracked open.

There. Standing a man with a heart-melting smile crept across his face. An old irresistable smile that Louis failed to omit from his memory.

“You’re here!”

“Haz!”

Louis directly made his way inside while Harry closed the door. Louis stood there—freezed. A slight grin concealed on his face when he saw all the things inside the house remained unchanged. Right at this time he almost shouted I’m home, but sadly, the situation was worse than what appeared.

“Uhm.. you want something to drink? —or lunch?” Harry asked.

“Nah, think im good, I’d greet my baby girl first. Is she in her room?”

“Yeah, uhm—listen. I’m actually in a rush. Got something to work on with Nick at the studio, so uhm.. probably be back at night?”

Louis almost forgot Harry was an ambitious popstar, but Louis kept questioning on his mind—why—and again—it always had something to do with Nick.

“Oh-okay” Louis answered as his eyes followed Harry who made his way to the front door. Harry barely put his attention to Louis’ eyes, which apparently tried so hard to hide his agony. A horrible thought gripped Louis’ mind—‘he moved on, at last’. It wasn’t like they stopped speaking to each other. It’s just they seemed deliberately becoming strangers once more. It killed Louis.

A few seconds later Harry came back.

“Forgot..uh..do you mind buy something for Emma for her dinner later?—well, you could cook something, if you like.” Asked Harry.

“Probably I prefer to order—uh—anything she wants later, you know my skill at cooking, eh?” answered Louis as he tried to find the courage to make Harry smile. Well, he did. Slightly.

“Ok, just remember to put her food on her ...”

“Snow white bowl, got it!” Louis answered

“Right—and, uh the bowl is in...”

“Kitchen. At the top shelf. I still remember, captain”

Harry stared at Louis, surprised, mouth shaping an “O”—a bit of disbelief. Louis was grateful he could still visualize anything in the house by memory, as though he still lived there.

“Good, I’ll see you, then”

Louis moved his feet slowly to the pinky opened door beside the stairs. It’s been a few weeks since the last time he met his daughter, Emma. Well, what could he do? He should be working his ass off days and nights to pay his rent and everything, though the pennies hardly fulfilled all the needs. That’s why the decision to let Emma live with Harry was suiciding but the best decision he ever commited. Afterall, still, he’s still longing to make everything like it used to be.  
He knocked the door twice while beaming at the girl who got crayons stain all over her skirt as coloring her disney princess book. The girl fastly stood up and squealed in surprise.

“Daddyyyy...” she shouted as she ran to her father’s warm hug

“Aaahh my baby monkey”

Louis hugged her tightly as she flang her tiny hands around Louis’ neck. They stayed breathing each other’s smell while laughing in relief.

“Daaaddy, I miss you” as she pouted her lips and hugged him more closer

“Me miss you too, honey. Whatcha been doing?”

“Look daddy, Papa got me this new coloring book. Here!”

Louis totally admired the way Harry always tried to spoil their daughter with things that he could not afford by himself, at least their daughter wouldn’t miss any good things that make her smile. Except.

“I wish you and papa could color books with me everyday. It would be so much fun. Besides, papa always has great talent in choosing colors, unlike Mrs. O’Connor, but he’s barely home. I don’t like Mrs. O’Connor. She snores a lot while falling asleep on the couch. And that one time Uncle Nick came to help coloring, he messed up my crayons. I hate him. He’s terrible. Why does papa like to hang out with him?” she didn’t stop rambling. And Louis got no idea how to answer her question. He simply chuckled.

“Look at this, daddy, papa made Princess Elsa look so pretty.”

“Yeah, he did” as Louis smiled to her and palmed the picture she pointed at.  
For a few minutes, they remained still, looking at all those colored princess pictures on the book, But suddenly, a tear dropped on the uncolored page of the book.

“Aaah, no..c’mere,” he hugged his daughter tightly and wiped her tears out of her tiny silky face, “what’s the matter,ssshh—don’t cry, sweetheart“  
As much as Louis wanted to calm his daughter, on top of that, Emma cried louder and made cute little hiccups. Looking at her like this, torn and tormented, Louis suddenly felt like a shit father. Emma was totally wrecked and could possibly end up broken like her favourite character-Princess Elsa.

“Please daddy, please...come back with me and papa. I promise I will be a good girl”

“Baby, you’re always a good girl to me. But..it’s not that simple”

Louis picked a few strands of her hair that tickled out of her forehead. All of these time, Louis thought that he had done right. He had enough. He had been selfless and understanding too much. However, after seeing his daughter like this, he started questioning every his goddamed decision.

“It is daddy, I love you, you love me. Papa loves you. Yesterday my teacher said that people who love each other should be together. You love papa, right, daddy?” Emma glanced at Louis, tears swam in her eyes. She deliberately looked through Louis’ eyes waiting for the only answer she wanted to hear.

“I did, well I do—so much. I’d probably never fall in love again” he answered as he offered a tiny weary smile and glassy eyed that warmed his daughter.  
At last, Emma gave her big smile and put her head on Louis’ chest while hugged him tightly as she wouldn’t ever let him go.

“Anyway, Em, how about we get some pizza to eat? I know papa won’t allow it but, let’s make today a cheating day, how’s it?”

Louis expected her to just give him a simple nod instead of a huge screaming YES near his ears.

He made his way out of the room, letting her busying herself again by coloring Princess Snow White while waiting for the pizza. As he tried to go to the bathroom, he heard some taps fluttered behind him.

“Did you mean it?” he asked, the sound of his voice hoarse, thick, as if he just spent a minute or two crying.

The inside of Louis’ head nearly exploded. He still didn’t move, refused to turn his body. He gasped for some breath. Louis had been known to be careful handling his feeling for such a long time, making everyone convinced that he’s totally fine. While on the contrary, he’s completely wrecked.

“How long have you been standing there?” Louis asked, still had not faced Harry.

“Did you really mean it?” he asked, once again.

“Mean what?”

“Every word, each word you said to her,” Louis seemed still and didn’t know how to react, “haha look at you, you still can’t look me in the eye to answer my question, Lou”

Louis couldn’t even let his voice out. Harry possibly had been staring at him with a tired and broken look. All Louis could think was that this was the end of everything. He probably would never meet Harry and his daughter ever again.

He didn’t expect to be put in this miserable situation for something he didn’t expect to do. At that moment, he regret a little bit why he was convinced to come in the first place.

“Does it matter?” Louis asked slowly

“Don’t throw these all on me, Louis!” Harry snapped

“Then, why do you keep living her all alone? Don’t you think she would be upset?

“Because everytime I saw her face, I saw you, she kept reminding me, of you.”

“Harry—“

“Please just yes or no, and I won’t bother you again”

“I don’t know, Harry”

Harry stood still and smiled a bit. He almost could see a chance of Louis giving up. When he finally started to leave and hang on the question,

“I don’t know—I really, really don’t know how to say I want it like how it used to be. I’m all alone—I hate living alone.”

In one swift moment, Louis burst crying, closed his face with both his tiny and frail hands. Without waiting any longer, Harry stepped forward and caught Louis’trembling body on his own, clutching him to his chest.They stayed like that, just crying, and grabbing, and holding each other.

Both of them finally lifted their heads and stared at one another. Those faces pictured relief and angry emotions, but mostly relief. About time they finally realized they’re too stubborn to say it.

Suddenly they heard their daughter’s bedroom door cracked open.

“Daddy, papa, why you both crying?” she looked confused.

Harry and Louis looked at each other and chuckled.

“Baby, how bout you get ready now, me and daddy will take you to the park and get some ice cream, how’s that sounds?”

“Reaaaally??” Both Harry and Louis nodded, then she ran back to her room and couldn’t stop screaming ‘YEAYYY’

When Louis got back to face Harry again, he realized Harry had been staring at him and smiling the whole time, flushed, and so endearing.

“What?” Louis asked

“Welcome home, sweetcheeks” Harry said, all dimply and happy.

Louis grinned, his heart felt so much warm, and forever be it.


End file.
